I despise making someone I can’t let go of. Also, I don’t think a guy would really want me. Sexually.I’m far from sexually appealing. Maybe that’s why I stepped into BDSM world 30 years ago.If this is BDSM universe, I reasoned, someone ‘may’ look at me.Maybe I’m sexually attractive to someone, I thought. I alsoContinue reading “Vulnerable and being a sub”
Tag Archives: submission
Dilemma
I’m trying to think about what I can do about an issue. An issue about my submission. This has happened previously as well. I am a selfish sub. I’m open to giving in, but I refuse to be a pushover.I want to be diminished but not to the point where I will be obliterated.I wantContinue reading “Dilemma”
Once a sub, always a sub
I’m not joking. I thought I needed strong sensations from BDSM to come. Wax, impact plays…pains. That’s how I enjoyed sex….sort of. I never come, but I needed domination and physical sensations. Recently, I enjoyed 2 different sex. The first is with a person who knows that I am a sub, but he himself isContinue reading “Once a sub, always a sub”
What kind of sub am I? Möbius of, and tangled emotions of a dom and a sub
…I don’t know. Not sure what the ‘label’ is for me. I feed off dom’s pleasure. I love observing the dom’s face, his voice and whatever I can feel from where he touches me. Soft touch. Hard grabbing. His temperature. His shortening and excited breath. His hoarse voice. Him having fun doing what he wantsContinue reading “What kind of sub am I? Möbius of, and tangled emotions of a dom and a sub”
Intensity junkie bottom
Oh I couldn’t think the right title for this one. It’s also difficult to think how to properly label it too. When it comes to sex and BDSM, I don’t want one which is lovely, calm, peaceful gentle and soothing. I want….the intensity and sensation which push me to the limit. Not soft. Not sensual.Continue reading “Intensity junkie bottom”
Fine line between consent and non-consent
I wrote an opinion piece about sexual assault, what that does to women and the social issues lying underneath. In my other language and for a major newspaper in that country. It got published yesterday and I know it’s getting a lot of traction on the Internet. I’m happy that it is, but honestly IContinue reading “Fine line between consent and non-consent”
Weirdly wired
I’m an extremely private person. 98% introvert, as my current boss joked. But I was thinking about what I did before. I went to several BDSM/sex parties. And this was instigated by me, not my partner. I dragged him promising different things, which might’ve been fulfilled (may have not). Some were private parties where IContinue reading “Weirdly wired”
Handing control
When I cry at night that I can’t climax, that’s on the top of my list to worry. Because when I wasn’t able to, it made me feel defective. Then, with his help, starting to loosen up my body and my mind, but that came to a sudden halt too. I’m also working too much,Continue reading “Handing control”
Emotion
There are things I can control.There are things I cannot control. I can control my fucking own emotions.I cannot control someone else’s emotions. After we started exchanging messages, I noticed that he was starting to be attracted to me. I’m not saying this to boast about how good I am. Just a mere fact. TwoContinue reading “Emotion”
Encounter
At 10 minutes before the agreed time, I’m standing at the corridor of a hotel. For the hotel security team, I may look suspicious just standing here for so long. So, I keep on looking at my mobile just to make it look like I’m reading something on it. I’m just staring at my screen. Continue reading “Encounter”