I despise making someone I can’t let go of. Also, I don’t think a guy would really want me. Sexually.I’m far from sexually appealing. Maybe that’s why I stepped into BDSM world 30 years ago.If this is BDSM universe, I reasoned, someone ‘may’ look at me.Maybe I’m sexually attractive to someone, I thought. I alsoContinue reading “Vulnerable and being a sub”
Tag Archives: BDSM
Dilemma
I’m trying to think about what I can do about an issue. An issue about my submission. This has happened previously as well. I am a selfish sub. I’m open to giving in, but I refuse to be a pushover.I want to be diminished but not to the point where I will be obliterated.I wantContinue reading “Dilemma”
Once a sub, always a sub
I’m not joking. I thought I needed strong sensations from BDSM to come. Wax, impact plays…pains. That’s how I enjoyed sex….sort of. I never come, but I needed domination and physical sensations. Recently, I enjoyed 2 different sex. The first is with a person who knows that I am a sub, but he himself isContinue reading “Once a sub, always a sub”
What kind of sub am I? Möbius of, and tangled emotions of a dom and a sub
…I don’t know. Not sure what the ‘label’ is for me. I feed off dom’s pleasure. I love observing the dom’s face, his voice and whatever I can feel from where he touches me. Soft touch. Hard grabbing. His temperature. His shortening and excited breath. His hoarse voice. Him having fun doing what he wantsContinue reading “What kind of sub am I? Möbius of, and tangled emotions of a dom and a sub”
Intensity junkie bottom
Oh I couldn’t think the right title for this one. It’s also difficult to think how to properly label it too. When it comes to sex and BDSM, I don’t want one which is lovely, calm, peaceful gentle and soothing. I want….the intensity and sensation which push me to the limit. Not soft. Not sensual.Continue reading “Intensity junkie bottom”
C’est la vie
I haven’t written anything for a while. My vanilla life has been crazily busy. I have been talking to a therapist who is kink friendly. It’s been great to talk to her about kink and sex. Whilst any therapist will say that we can be totally honest, I’ve seen the therapist’s face shows that theyContinue reading “C’est la vie“
S
Whilst I’ve deleted the post which I asked and went looking for someone on Fet (because that was a big mistake), I still get messages from people who won’t read any of my profile or writings. Most of them, I don’t even reply. Too many of those ones, unfortunately. Some, because of the courtesy they’veContinue reading “S”
Do you ‘get’ ‘it’?
I thought I was happy. Good job, relatively good pay. Because I changed careers in my early 30s, I’m slower than others in terms of where I would want to be, at my age. But I’ve asked for and got what I want to go up the corporate ladders in these few years. Certain peopleContinue reading “Do you ‘get’ ‘it’?”
Fine line between consent and non-consent
I wrote an opinion piece about sexual assault, what that does to women and the social issues lying underneath. In my other language and for a major newspaper in that country. It got published yesterday and I know it’s getting a lot of traction on the Internet. I’m happy that it is, but honestly IContinue reading “Fine line between consent and non-consent”
Weirdly wired
I’m an extremely private person. 98% introvert, as my current boss joked. But I was thinking about what I did before. I went to several BDSM/sex parties. And this was instigated by me, not my partner. I dragged him promising different things, which might’ve been fulfilled (may have not). Some were private parties where IContinue reading “Weirdly wired”