I’m not joking.
I thought I needed strong sensations from BDSM to come. Wax, impact plays…pains.
That’s how I enjoyed sex….sort of. I never come, but I needed domination and physical sensations.
Recently, I enjoyed 2 different sex.
The first is with a person who knows that I am a sub, but he himself is not into BDSM. What he did, was made me feel special, wanted, beautiful and just relax. I didn’t come, but I purely enjoyed the sex with this person. There was something that he was good at, reading me and making me at ease. I didn’t discuss much with this person beforehand. Just went with the flow. It was good sex 🙂
The second is the opposite. We discussed in detail what we like to do/done, and he is a dom. I know I can trust him, so I let him take the lead. Whilst I knew that he isn’t the sadist I always sought for, I knew that with a right person, I didn’t need to rely on physical impact and pains like I used to. I just never had such a person.
I enjoyed every moment of being dominated by him, what he did to me, what he wanted to do to me. Then, a small climax, then another….I wasn’t really thinking about what I want or even that I was climaxing. I didn’t need to keep a part of my mind calm. Concentrating on everything I feel through my skin.
It just made me reinforce that I need to be immersed in the submission so that I don’t need to think about anything, and just focussing on my body and focus giving the dom what he wants. Concentrating on what I want dom to feel from dominating me. Trying to do whatever I wanted to do to the dom, so that he would feel pleasure.
That’s what’s my pleasure is.
I’m always a sub….I guess.
…but finally….starting to enjoy that I am a woman. That I am a sub.