I liked to be ‘used’. Whatever the dom wants to do to me. Whatever excites him.
I want to be on the receiving end. Being used.
That’s my fantasy.
On one hand, I might say that I want the dom to not care about me. Whatever he wants to do.
But that is not true. There are lots of negotiations that went behind the scenes. There are lots of questions asked. The Dom asked questions to find out my limits.
The Dom will use his experience and skills to find out how far he can inflict. How far I can take. He will care whether I will climax if he wants me to. He will care and stop me from climaxing, if he wants to.
He will be also carefully observing me whether I have reached the limit as discussed or not. In terms of pain, the Dom will need to carefully observe and care for me to truly understand and stop, just before the limit. So that I won’t need to use a safeword. He will need to care whether I’m not using the safeword when I should have, and whether to stop.
Acting like not caring involves a lot on Dom’s side.
My fantasy about the Dom not caring and acting evil (?) requires a lot on the Dom’s side.
That’s why I need to have a Dom who I can trust. Someone who can dominate me as if he doesn’t care, and will excite me.
Acting as if not being cared for requires trust from me as well. I can’t have a trauma (or discuss it properly) that may be invoked by the Dom not caring. And the Dom must be comfortable that I would cry out if something that may hurt me, occurs. That I am OK to be treated as if I am not cared.
If we don’t discuss enough and if I allow the Dom to truly not care for me, that means that I am using the Dom as a tool to destruct me.
That’s not what I want.
I want ‘not to be cared for’ or ‘used’ by the Dom who truly cares about me. Someone who I trust.