I’m just exhausted. I was asked not to do something, and I couldn’t help doing it.
It’s my weak mind. It’s my brain that keeps on thinking ‘this should be OK’. (and come up with all the reasons that I can defy what was asked….the issue is that the reasons aren’t communicated to the other person).
I wish I was someone who can patiently wait. But I can’t. I keep on thinking there must be something that I can do (when in fact there might not be any).
I wish I was stronger.
I wish I was a stronger person who can have confidence in myself. Confident that the other person has chosen me. I just have to wait.
I can help others when they are struggling but I can’t help myself.
And I cry because I can’t stop myself from doing stupid things that will worsen the situation.
I thought I was a stronger person.