Pain

I like impact plays….cane…..crop…..belt…..and finally hands, which I like the most. It makes me excited when I walk to a chair or bed. Scared but aroused.

I can feel you watching my every step. I take slow steps, not because I want to. But my brain and my body are telling me something different. I’m excited but scared of the pain that you will inflict.

Cane and crop – if used in full force, I may not be able to tolerate them.

I bite the pillow, sheets, blankets….or my lip or hands if I need to. I grab blankets so hard. So that I can tolerate it. Tolerate it so that you will get excited. So that you will look at my face, the face with tears, makeups all gone and ugly. So that you will look at my face approvingly. I concentrate on my breath. I concentrate that my hands and feet are glued. So that I won’t move. So that I won’t cover myself. But it’s pure pain. A challenge by you vs my will. I want to throb. So that you will wipe my tears when finished.

I like the belt.

They feel it is part of you. Even the belt. I get excited when you take off your belt and use it. It’s part of you which wrapped around you till the moment before. It makes me think about males and females. I don’t wear pants, so I don’t wear a belt. Even if I do, your belt is different. Thick and masculine. The belt won’t damage me. It’s a pain that I can still tolerate. If done correctly, I will be building up the pleasure with pains. You use the belt because it doesn’t damage me. Every flick, every swing, you make me realise that I love this pain. The pain inflicted by you.

It’s different from a cane or a crop. It tells me that I like the pain. It tells me that you use a belt just because you can. It tells me that I like the pain you inflict. So much so that my pleasure builds up. My mind isn’t filled with pain. I can still follow your move, your breath and the belt. You want me to tell you that I love the belt. I love you who controls the belt. Inflicting me pleasure and pain. Fire flicks on my back, breast, ass, thigh. I love the bruise that will be left for days.

I love your hand.

The deep pain ignites deep below the skin. I love that your hands get warmer and hotter. I love that you want to hurt me although your hands hurt as well. I love the feeling of your hot hands when you touch my undamaged skin after the spanking. It’s sad that your hands won’t give me bruises to last for days. I love the fact that the first impact will give me pleasure. Pleasure more than pain. I cannot help feeling the pleasure deep inside.

I love the fact that you are closer to me. I can feel your breath getting shorter and shorter. I can feel your cock getting harder. You do not spare me anything. Your full swing. Your power directly trebling through my skin. For some reason, I like the intimacy of being slapped on my face. Maybe because I can see you. Maybe because you will be so close by.

I like the pain because it reduces me. I like the pain because it gives me a shortcut to another world….into a dreamy world where I am reduced to being your sub.

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