Damn. I can keep cursing all day long. I’m so sexually frustrated. Dreamt of a BDSM encounter. Based on his sexts and stories. In it, I was going nuts with pain and pleasure. But feeling so cared for and guarded. Just concentrating on what my body tells me, not what I ‘think’ about it. IContinue reading “Dream”
Monthly Archives: March 2022
Using and not caring
I liked to be ‘used’. Whatever the dom wants to do to me. Whatever excites him. I want to be on the receiving end. Being used. That’s my fantasy. On one hand, I might say that I want the dom to not care about me. Whatever he wants to do. But that is not true.Continue reading “Using and not caring”
Key
I lost my key somewhere. Somewhere, sometime when I decided to be strong. When I decided that I would live alone and independent. I couldn’t let my key be hostage by a man. From my verandah, looking at the river flowing, I let the key fall off my hand. I saw it going down. IContinue reading “Key”
Maybe I’m not a good sub
I’m just exhausted. I was asked not to do something, and I couldn’t help doing it. It’s my weak mind. It’s my brain that keeps on thinking ‘this should be OK’. (and come up with all the reasons that I can defy what was asked….the issue is that the reasons aren’t communicated to the otherContinue reading “Maybe I’m not a good sub”
Pain
I like impact plays….cane…..crop…..belt…..and finally hands, which I like the most. It makes me excited when I walk to a chair or bed. Scared but aroused. I can feel you watching my every step. I take slow steps, not because I want to. But my brain and my body are telling me something different. I’mContinue reading “Pain”
Fire (repost)
Note: this is a repost of the earlier post of today. But different. So I can’t climax at the moment. No toys, favourite videos, novels, sexts won’t work. I didn’t use to, so it should be OK, doesn’t it? But I’m not. I can’t go back to the time and place when I didn’t careContinue reading “Fire (repost)”
Dreaming
Just as he hypnotised me…. No, of course, I would’ve done so anyway without hypnosis. I dream about what we played online, his fuck, his BDSM session every night. Because it makes my body hot. I’ve stopped touching myself like I used to. Because I’m crying in my dream. Not from pain or pleasure. I’veContinue reading “Dreaming”
Selfish
I’m selfish. But not selfish enough. I want him. Although he got bored of me. He said I was a chore. I’m so selfish that I don’t care what he says, but I just want him. I want him now. But I couldn’t say it often to him. How much I wanted him. I didn’tContinue reading “Selfish”
Bleeding
I’ve revived some posts which were in drafts, and then I am also writing new posts. Imagine these in texts. No, I won’t do it, but I still wrote long texts. Writing seems to make me think better. However, even if that is the case, I sometimes have issues expressing myself in English. There areContinue reading “Bleeding”
Shell
I received a package from China. My impulse buy. Beautiful corsets and lingerie. I guess….I might admire them for a day but I might actually throw them away. Very difficult to look at them at the moment. To be honest, I remember browsing the Chinese shopping sites one evening, but I don’t remember buying them!Continue reading “Shell”