I just wonder why I am so stubborn.
In this long-distance relationship, we have 3-5 minutes each day of message exchanges. Due to our circumstances, we lost the opportunity to chat online for 30 minutes or so every day or to have voice calls from time to time. I’m only glad that we did build up enough level of relationship to maintain before we lost these opportunities.
Other than one thing that he asked me to do and maintain, there are no other tasks or rituals that are imposed on me. Not sure if he plans to add it after we establish the relationship.
I am never a person who wanted rituals or tasks, or even something that is physical like rings etc in the relationship. I probably was the person who didn’t want it, because I felt that all relationships will come to an end, and I wanted nothing to remind me of the failed relationship. This was true even when I was in other long-distance relationships.
It did, at one point, felt to me as if I was fading away from him. When messaging is the only way to communicate, no comms felt like I didn’t exist in him. My friend said guys won’t chit chat. lol. But we females do and silly messages or saying good morning and good night meant something. Well, something to me, at least.
I think I now understand why some DS couples have rituals and tasks when they are in the LDR. I kind of want it for me, but he probably won’t want it so that he can be free. I used to think those were silly, but it’s changing. It’ll give me something to remind me that I’m still in him.
I said I’m stubborn above. Whilst it’s been difficult, I’m still not letting this relationship go. I made so many mistakes in the past about the relationship. Now that I know what I want, who I want, I’m still not willing to let this go. Yep. I’m stubborn as I feel that if I let his hand go, I will regret, and regret more than any other mistakes I have made.