Oh. My Black Friday purchase has arrived. That was quick. One thing that massively improved in Australia during COVID is postal service. Not to the standard of my home country but happy enough.
So. From time to time, of course I do have unstoppable sexual desire I can’t fill it. Usually I am able to just make it go away by doing something else. Exercise. Playing piano for hours. Working long hours will just exhaust me.
Then there are times that I can’t make it go away.
My therapist asked me. Do you masterbate?
Yes. I do.
But that doesn’t really give me any pleasure. It just gives me more thirst. More thirst that I want to be taken. That I want to be dominated. That I want to be ‘used’ by my dominant.
No masterbation is going to give me that pleasure.
No vanilla sex is going to give me that ‘high’. Only BDSM.
I masterbate…imagining.
No. I don’t have a command to come.
I masterbate remembering how he looked at me. Looking through my clothes. His eyes. His desire.
No.
That’s not enough.
Sigh.