I am going through my wardrobe. I need to decide soon or will be late for our first meeting.
My hand going through the clothes stops.
My mind wanders.
There on my chair, there is an outfit that I chose. About a week ago.
No it was much earlier than that.
I decided which bra to wear.
I decided which lingeries to wear.
…or will I? Which of the lingeries will I wear?
You said no undies when I am with him.
If you ask with that grin, what am I going to answer?
Will I lie?
Will you or will you not pick up my lie?
Or will I answer truthfully?
How are you going to punish me?
Then a skirt.
Then a top.
I keep looking at the top. For a split moment I wonder what happens if I don’t wear a bra under a sheer white blouse.
Too provocative. I go touch the blouse. It won’t hide me getting excited.
I sit on my bed and let my mind wander as it wants to.
…calmly.
I’m much calmer than I thought I am.
My plan has changed.
Your plan has changed.
How am I going to greet him?
How do I want to present myself?
A confident and dominant(ish!) person in almost everything to do with my day to day life. Taking control. Making decisions.
I have this skin around me that protects me.
I don’t know when I’ve put on this skin.
Far far back.
To protect me and guard me from everything.
Did I take them off when I was a submissive?
No.
I still needed as I didn’t want to get hurt.
Instead, created a new layer as a submissive.
So that I won’t get hurt.
I can kneel for a right person.
I will kneel for a right person.
If the person is the right dominant, who can truly dominate me, I will probably not be able to look up.
As I know you will see me through.
My eyes will be kept low.
As if I am submitting and waiting for your command.
Who does he want to see?
Who does he want to dominate?
You will probably grip my cheeks tightly and growl to look at you.
No. Not yet. I will answer.
You do not want a lonely submissive who wants to submit to anyone, for sure.
You want a submissive that only kneels to him. Only to him.
Who do I want to submit to?
Who do I want to see?
I look at the outfit and something just doesn’t seem right.
No. you don’t want to see an anxious girl.
You want to see a feisty, quick thinking sub who will defy you.
Defy you to be punished, used and to submit.
Defy you not by teasing, not being a brat but defy you in the way you only ‘get’ it.
Waiting for you to rise to the occasion.
Every part of me wants you.
Wanting to feel you.
Wanting to suck you.
Wanting to see how you dominate.
How you fuck.
How you spank.
Ho you use your fingers.
How you use your belt.
How you use me for your pleasure.
But I cannot let you see my burning desire.
You are a typical dominant. You want to chase for your sub. You slave. Your slut. your obedient girl.
If I go chasing you, you will lose interest.
I look at stockings. Suspenders. …Will I?
Across the table, we will have a coffee.
Talking about work stuff. How busy we are.
And yet I know I can’t help to have you.
I can’t help to be dominated.
Will you see in me how much I want to be a submissive?
Your submissive?
Will I be able to look at you straight in the face as act as if we are talking business?
Beneath and hidden I know I will wish to be touched by you. Submit to you.
I know you would want to touch me. Dominate me.
I feel like a whore when I want to be touched by you.
When I want to be fingered by you.
And fucked by you.
No. Won’t happen. You won’t give it to me. not now.
You will keep me on the edge. Whilst we calmly have a tea.
Looking through me. Smiling at me. An intelligent and classy man who fucks with my mind.
That’s who I want. A rougher person hidden in you who wants to be uncontrollable for a sub.
Subdue me.
Dominate me.
I want to feel your strong hand.
I want to feel how you fuck my throat.
Fuck my mind.
If you are the right dom.
I chose my dress. I wear my high heels. I put on a bracelet.
I see a submissive who will be challenging you. Provoke you. Tease you. So you will dominate me. So that you can’t help but dominate me. You will crush me. You will use me in every way. You will destroy me until I pass out in your arms.
There she is. Not an uncertain girl. A submissive waiting to be fucked and dominated by you. A persona that only you will see.
Deep breath.
I can do it.
My only and last chance to seduce you. To tell you only in the way we get it.
Dominate me please, Master.
I chose my dress. I wear my high heels. I put on a bracelet – right or left?
I pick up my mobile and send a quick message to you.
“Coming.”