I sometimes love Fetlife and sometimes hate it.
I turn my profile on and off.
I love the fact that they limit what you can delete.
I hate the fact that they limit what you can delete.
Until recently, I never used Fet to look for a partner. Usually we met somewhere else (online or real) and usually the person was on Fet so we might have talked about some posts on Fet if there was an interesting post.
I still like to read the group posts and other people’s writing. Most of the times, I like the discussions that have nothing to do with BDSM.
I’m so not active on Fet meaning my past activities are still easy to trace. Oh the stupid questions that I had in mind and asked in the groups! 😭 I don’t think I read the Fet rules, so didn’t even notice that I can’t delete them (or maybe we were able to, over 10 years ago). I don’t even want to go and read what I wrote.
I can understand why Fet set the rule, and I can see that it’s necessary for the transparancy. I can see how stupid I was. I can’t even delete the exchanges with someone who became a stalker and ended badly.
Although on several occassions, people on Fet helped me. That’s probably why I hang around on Fet.
I can, and probably should start from scratch and set up a new profile. However, there are quite a number of people who I have blocked or have a note not to interact, so it’ll be a chore to set up a new profile and block them all too.
Most importantly….there are message exchanges from one person I don’t want to delete.
Fetlife has always been a love/hate thing for many of us. It’s nowhere what it used to be. That’s for sure. I prefer Facebook over Fetlife nowadays. It’s easier to see who’s who and to actually validate who they say they are, provided they’re not on an alt of catfish account. The perils are still there, but I find it less risky than Fet, especially if you’re vetting properly.
Yes. I agree. Fetlife isn’t the same anymore. The problem with Facebook is that I don’t want my vanilla friends to know this side of me. If I create a new account, it can be unreliable to others as much as Fetlife. As you say, vetting is everything, even on Fet. It could be easier for people like us to do, but it must be difficult and more dangerous for newbies!
It is. There’s a lot more heartache today than there used me.